


everybody cares (and wears the sheep's clothes while they chaperone)

by constanted



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: But only a little, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Platonic Relationships, c2e96, heart to heart, mentioned beaujes and fjorclay, sibling feelings!, unfortunate alcohol-cupcake flavor pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22837165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constanted/pseuds/constanted
Summary: "And I'm not even close to the person that you met in that graveyard, anymore.""Not at all," Beau nods."You're not close to the person I met there, either."(or: cupcakes, conversation, and crush confessions.)
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 24
Kudos: 196





	everybody cares (and wears the sheep's clothes while they chaperone)

**Author's Note:**

> BEAU AND CAD PROCESS YOUR FEELINGS HEALTHILY 2020

"The, uh. The kid seems sweet," Beau starts. They're in the Chateau, Jester with her mother, Fjord and Yasha passed out, Nott and Caleb working on something magical in their room, and the two of them are just sort of stalling. "Your sister. The--the tiny one, not the hot one."

“I thought she'd be taller than me," he smiles, with a little hint of bitterness that he doesn't like very much slipping into it. "It's--I mean. I guess it would've been weird if I saw her again and she was just suddenly an adult, but. iI's just--it's weird. They're all--they're all exactly the same. And I'm not even close to the person that you met in that graveyard, anymore."

"Not at all," Beau nods.

"You're not close to the person I met there, either."

She hums. Doubtful. He tries to make eye contact.

"I'm so afraid of this being the only real story I’ll ever have," he admits. Because it's true, and he knows she feels the same. "I've never had anything like this. I never thought I'd have anything like this. I didn't think I was _supposed_ to have anything like this."

"Look at us," she says. Takes a swig from Nott's flask, which Yasha must have handed over for the time being--smart. "Disappointing our fuckin' parents."

He snorts. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s fair.” And she looks at him oddly, now. She didn’t expect him to agree; she’s trying to provoke him.

"Want some?"

"You have any fruit? I don't really wanna trip, but I need to--taste. Y'know."

"I got a cupcake?"

"That'll do." He takes a bite--black moss--and then a swig--he thinks it's whiskey?--and he exhales. "Still tastes bad." He repeats the sequence.“Younger siblings are weird.”

“You the oldest?”

“Nah. Cal—you said she was the hot one?—is older than me, and Colton, the asshole, is the oldest. And Bell was, um. Kind of a surprise?”

“I mean, not that much of a surprise. Because.”

“Yeah. _Super_ small house. You’ve been there.” He grimaces. Beau grimaces back. “In. Um. Back to the point. You’d never met, uh, TJ before this week, right?”

“No,” she says. Bristles. “I assumed they hadn’t even told him about me. He’s too young to need lessons about bad examples.”

“You’re not a bad example.”

“Fuck _off_ , dude. You—fuckin’ saved your family, everybody loves you, it’s all back—“

“You’re not a bad example, Beau.”

She gives a look. “I fucked with a holy site last night. One of _your_ holy sites.”

“Mhm. And I’m a little pissed about that. But. I don’t understand _anything_ about libraries, so. We’re even.” He takes another bite, another swig. She takes a swig as well, and pulls out a different cupcake. Blueberry. He recognizes the frosting, because it has little sprinkles on it, and Jester had fed those to Sprinkle that night in the volcano and made a genuinely very funny cannibalism joke. “Your brother’s going to think you’re incredible. He doesn’t have a—I mean. There’s not much about you that’s not _cool_ , at least.”

“You and your brother don’t get along.”

“Yeah? He’s—this isn’t a good counterexample. Because he’s not cool. You’re, objectively, you,” he mimes punching, “You’re extremely cool. Fisticuffs and books. That’s two things I’m _extremely_ bad with. I think you’re great. I think that your parents have no idea who you are; I think that parents like to—like to make you into something, decide who you are, and then you’re that forever. But that’s not—that’s not how we work.”

There’s silence, for a moment. A quiet “Thanks, Caduceus.” More silence. Nothing needs to be said, not really. “What do they think you are?”

“ _Your_ parents think I’m a seven foot-tall fey monster, I assume."

“You know what I mean.”

He sighs. She stares. He goes for another cupcake-whiskey combo. “They told me earlier, actually. In pretty clear terms. And they—kind of apologized. Not really. They tried. But they mean well. But—I’m supposed to be the, uh. The steady one. Reliable. I was—I liked to mess around with the others, but I was supposed to, y’know. Stay home, make sure everything was safe. And comfort the others, after our parents left, and—help the mourning, ‘cuz I’m alright at talking when I’m not. You know. Panicking.”

“Wait, okay, diversion, why the _fuck_ were you covered in water last night?”

“Fluting incident. I was sneaky and I scared the shit out of Cal, she fell into the water and then she pushed me in. Which is understandable because she is. Significantly stronger than myself. Physically. She’s—like Fjord. A paladin. And I realized that I could’ve faked drowning, after, but, uh.”

“You _snuck up_ on someone?”

“I think the Wildmother was maybe feeling a little bit apologetic.” And he smiles. “I think she’s the only one who’s going to—apologize in the way I’d like to be apologized to. But I can’t blame anyone—“

“Well. You kinda just gave me a reason to blame your parents.”

“They—they really, really mean well. I don’t think they’re—I think they were a bit disappointed that I’m not staying with them. But they’re not like your dad; they’re not going to—to try and take credit for the person I am now. They know that’s not entirely correct.”

Beau looks at him. Eyes scouting for _something_ , he’s familiar with the look because he sees it in mirrors, too. “Do you like being—that person?”

“I like being useful.”

“That—that. Okay. You sound like fucking _Caleb_. It’s not about _use_.”

“Says _you_.”

“There. There’s sarcasm. Okay, okay, cool. You—you don’t have to be fuckin’—reliable sage around us.”

He blinks. “You don’t have to be afraid of us.”

“I’m not afraid.”

He tilts his head. “I don’t have another self to be.”

Beau mirrors him. “Make one.”

“Stop pushing us away.”

“Says _you_ , this time. Also, I heard your mom saying that Fjord was _a good paladin boy_ in Elvish, so—“

“If you push us away, you’ll never get an answer on whether or not I agree with her—“

“Do you?”

“Promise to try and let us help you?”

“If you do, too. I’m into Jester. Eye for an eye.”

“Here’s an eye, then.”

“So—“

“I’ll kill you if you say a word. I swear.”

"This is bonding. This is friendship. I can give _you_ advice now. Set you up on little dates and shit--"

"I can just let Jester heal you, then; you'd be _so_ into that, though, so..."

"You know, he's into redheads who share a patron with him; I think you count as a redhead?"

"I will _fucking_ kill you."

“ _Who_ will my brother look up to?”

“I don’t look up to either of my older siblings. He can manage. But. Well. Bell’ll be mad at me. She said you looked very cool. So. I won’t kill you.”

“I won’t kill you, either.”

And they each grab another cupcake.

**Author's Note:**

> BEAU AND CAD PROCESS YOUR FEELINGS HEALTHILY 2020 _PLEASE_
> 
> comment kudo etc


End file.
